Monday, March 29, 2010

The backside

Yesterday was Palm Sunday, and as is the tradition at our church, the men host an Ecumenical Men’s Palm Sunday Breakfast first thing in the morning, before anyone needs to be at church for anything else. This year, my husband and I were asked to be the speakers. After much thought, prayer, and discussion, we settled on the theme of “moving forward” in our faith walks. Christ Himself commands us to follow Him, and Paul and the author of Hebrews both use the metaphor of running a race to achieve the prize of Heaven. We said lots of good things like that.

Today, I have been reflecting on the truths God revealed to me as Dan and I gave our talk. For example, if you don’t move, God will probably move you. And that may not always be a pleasant process! But what is really swimming in my brain—so much so that I walked away from the dishes to type (I know that may shock some of you)—is the backside. (The backside of my strong, handsome husband was a pure joy to me as I listened to him describe the trials, heartaches, joys, and events from our lives to the group of men assembled in our small church. But Dan’s backside is not really my point today, no matter how much it is burned on my brain.) God’s backside is what I am really celebrating.

The backside of a long drive is where you reach your destination. The backside of an interaction is where we see our mistakes. The backside of a great date is where you do the most smiling. The backside of a trial is where we see the Hand of God most clearly.

Everyone reading this has suffered through at least one trial. Guaranteed. Everyone reading this has experienced one victory in their life. Guaranteed. Everyone reading this lives life, day in and day out, over and over, perhaps without much planning or perhaps with a mountain of planning. And at any given time, we are all just starting a journey, smack in the middle of another, and completing yet a third…or fourth…or tenth. Only God knows how they all work together.

He is already ahead of us, standing on the backside, waiting for our arrival.

Once upon a time, I was comfortable. My faith life was easy. Church was good. Marriage was good. Singing in the choir was good. It was all, well, good. So very plain and good. Until I realized I wanted “more”. More passion, more joy, more excitement when I heard the name Jesus uttered at church. My church was not the problem. I was. I wanted more. I knew there was more. I knew it. I wanted more of Christ. But I did not know how to get it. It was not until a nearby church hosted a two-day seminar on the Holy Spirit that I really allowed Christ to grab me, willingly, and do a BIG work in me. With fear and trembling, I accepted the invitation to go forward and be prayed over. With tears streaming down my cheeks and off my chin, I choked out the words, “I just want to feel it”. The six most powerful words I have ever uttered. I just want to feel it.

Today it is eight years and three kids later, and I "feel it" like I never knew possible. I have grown in only the way our Creater could have worked. I am journeying toward His backside and I can’t wait to see where He takes me!

I am so glad Christ has my backside.

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